Shibari: Japanese rope bondageShibari means "to tie or bind" in Japanese. In the 1990s this word became the term used in Western culture to describe the Japanese art of Kinbaku (sexual bondage). [bondage.com]
Once used to describe objects and charms, "fetish" now has very different connotations.
Role play is about control - either having it or relinquishing it.
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Madame S
Fetishism is like normal sex (if in fact "normal sex" exists) - it's whatever works for you.[pics: dockera.com]
FETISH
by David Bramwell
(excerpt)
Introduction
To the outsider looking in, the fetish scene can seem risible, intimidating, degrading and even dangerous. After all, why would anyone in their right mind dress in clothes that made it hard to walk, subject themselves to a painful flogging, put their partner on a leash, or degrade themselves by licking a stranger's boots? Isn't the fetish scene just some ridiculous freak show?
And of course, in many ways it is. But to dismiss fetishism as a gimmick or fashion is to totally miss the point; it is in fact a new and evolving erotic language. It exists outside of the everyday world of TV, junk food, piped elevator music, celebrity gossip, the intrusion of cell phones and all that deadens our senses.
To question why a masochist likes to be beaten is to ask why a mountaineer likes to climb. Isn't it the experience of life many of us are seeking?
Whether through intense sadomasochistic play or scaling a mountain, it's the challenge, endurance, and sheer exhilaration of feeling alive that draws people in. And one of the many attractions of the fetish scene is that by subverting gender roles, blurring the distinction between pain and pleasure, turning violence into expressions of love, tenderness and devotion, it transcends the duality of everyday life and allows us, for a time at least, to be someone entirely different. For others, like the destitute painter driven by passion to continue with his art despite hardship and failure, fetishism is simply a desire within that refuses to be ignored.
Fetish definition
The word "fetish" derives from the Portuguese feitico, meaning "false power". It was first used in the 15th century by European colonialists to describe the objects, charms and dolls used as talismans by many of the African tribes they encountered.
These "fetishes", revered and worshiped by the tribespeople, were believed to have strong, magical powers; an idea dismissed as superstitious nonsense by the colonialists, who viewed such practices as un-Christian.
In their eyes the Africans were worshiping false idols, and the word "fetish" became used as a term of mild ridicule.
What is a fetish?
You may prefer big breasts to small ones, fellatio over penetrative sex; enjoy the feel of satin against your skin when lovemaking or dressing up in kinky underwear to give your partner (and yourself) a bit of a thrill. For most people these kinds of activities add excitement to bedroom games, keeping the libido alive. If, however, you regularly fantasize about ritualized erotic scenarios, or have some item you consider an essential part of your sexual play (you regularly fantasize about being dressed in leather and tied up for intercourse, for example), then this may be considered as a fetish.
While fetishism was once defined as the eroticizing of inanimate objects, such as stiletto heels, rubber or whips, nowadays it's widely considered that pretty much anything can be fetishized.
Since the early days of Freudian psychology, many theories have been developed in an attempt to explain fetishism. That it's linked to traumatic childhood experiences and the sexualizing of our fears remains the common theory.
Other theories link fetishism to overbearing parents, or drone on about how crawling at our mother's feet as babies can lead to the eroticizing of shoes. And while theories of this kind are worthy of consideration, they all seem to be rather stark - a bit like a scientist trying to tell us that love is merely a survival instinct, the result of chemical changes in our brains. Fetishism can't be explained away any more than love, music, dance or drama. It's a mysterious ritual, a performance, a private play between two or more people; an act of worship, both absurd and sublime.
As the Hindus say, "Life is a musical; the point is to dance." And when you take part in a fetish ritual you re-enter that world of the subconscious and you get lost in the dance.
Fetish Terminology
>B&D - Bondage and discipline.
>BDSM - Bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism.
>Contract - A verbal or written formal agreement between sub and dom/domme.
>Dom - A male dominant. Also known as a master.
>Domme - A female dominant. Also known as a domina or dominatrix.
>Dom/me's disease - Known on the scene as when "a domme gets her head stuck so far up her ass she has to have it surgically removed," i.e. is too egomaniacal.
>D&S - Domination and submission.
>Newbie - A newcomer to the BDSM scene.
>Play - To take part in fetish/BDSM-related activities with a partner or others.
>Play space - Any place that is regularly used for S&M games.
>Power exchange - The surrender of a sub's independence to his or her dom/me.
>Pro domme - A professional dominatrix.
>RL - Real life.
>S&M - Sadism and masochism.
>The scene - The whole arena of BDSM and fetish, the clubs and groups that promote it, the people who play, and the philosophy behind it.
>Slave - Another word for submissive, although to some it can refer specifically to a submissive who is in a longterm BDSM relationship.
>SSC - Stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual.
>Sub - A submissive in a relationship. Also known as the bottom or slave.
>Switch - A person who enjoys playing the role of both sub and dom/me (although not at the same time, obviously).
>Training - The ongoing process of teaching and learning that takes place between a slave and his or her owner.
>Vanilla - A person who isn't into or interested in the fetish scene.
Fetish Dictionary
The fetishizing of particuar objects or scenarios is also sometimes referred to as "paraphilia"; this chapter details a few of the more unusual paraphilias:
>Acomoclitic - Hairlessness
An acomoclitic (or smoothie) favors hairlessness, particularly in the genital area.
>Agalmatophilism - Mannequins
An agalmatophile is a person who eroticizes scenarios related to mannequins, robots or motionless bodies.
>Coitus Interfermoris - Rubbing
Better known as frottaging, dry humping or scrumping, this involves non-penetrative sexual gratification through the rubbing of the genital area against those of a partner's while one or both are fully clothed.
>Forniphilia - Furniture
This is a form of sexual objectification in which the dom/me turns his or her slave into a piece of "human furniture."
>Pygophilia - Ass Worship
Another one almost exclusive to the guys, this is the unadulterated joy of kissing, licking, caressing and worshipping a lady's bottom; it's also known as "booty worship".
Fetish by David Bramwell
Also:
Fetish Books
9 Sex Fetishes You Probably Didn't Know Existed
10 of the Most Bizarre Sexual Fetishes on Earth
Fetish Nation
Fetishlink
House of Harlot
